The Devil eats Coleslaw Read online

The Devil eats Coleslaw

  James Eddy

  Copyright 2013 James Eddy

  Bewilder

  Heart over Head over Heels

  Bonfire Blues

  Lily Green

  Fading Polaroids in Reverse

  The Graveyard

  Hello, Emptiness

  Revelations

  The Ghosts Are Out Tonight

  In Dreams

  Diamonds

  Cover by James Eddy

  Publishers Notes

  Disclaimer

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Manufactured in the United Kingdom.

  The Devil eats Coleslaw

  “You’re in the best place today.”

  'That's bollocks,' I don't say aloud. I smile. Sunniest day of the year and I’m stuck behind a deli counter. I don't care how hot it is, she can still go home to cool down. That’s gotta be better than being here.

  “Yeah, you’re probably right,” I tell her.

  She takes what she ordered and goes. I watch her shifting her weight from one side to the other. Enough to take her forward slowly to somewhere better than here.

  The old girl's not the first to let me know what's passing me by outside. She ain't trying to piss me off either. No more than the others were. They’re all just complaining. Typical. Nothings ever right round here. Too hot, too cold, too somewhere in between. There's obviously nothing better to do and it's been like this all day. It's like this every day.

  Bollocks! Here comes another one. A familiar face at the counter. I get treated like an idiot in this bloody place. To everyone I’m just some thick kid and this woman's the worst of the lot. Mrs Thompson used to be my English teacher. Now all she does is come in to bitch at me a couple of times a week. This time's no different. Same old questions and she don't half go on. I smile and nod and don't listen. I won't listen.

  Once she's gone, I need a coffee. I hide behind a pillar. Enough protection for a sip or two. Cold. And disgusting. Typical! My mind loops around words and whatever it was she said. I drink some more. Swallow it down and take a deep breath. That changes it all except I still wish I'd reached over the glass counter to take something out of her bag. It was right there and I could've distracted her long enough to hide what I took. Would've felt so good. So right, after everything. But I didn’t do it and now the chance is gone.

  I look along the aisle. It's empty enough to tell me most people are out enjoying the sun. It's so boring. No-one comes to the counter. No pink cheeks and grey hair. Not even a purple rinse to cheer me up.

  It all feels as pointless as I do. Nothing ever changes. Every day the same stuff happens. It’s just in a slightly different order. The shop's filled to bursting and it still feels empty. I hate it. I hate the lighting too. All those strips and spots, a blindingly unnecessary summer day no matter what time of year or time of day it is. Maybe I just hate everything. Maybe that's all I've got. And I need to party. It’s been too long. And why shouldn’t I nick things? And what was that song?

  I turn away and look at the clock on the wall. The time barely registers in my brain and I still know it's at least an hour until someone takes my place here. There's a load more people now. Flanked by plastic, mostly single mothers, with their kids in tow, looking utterly worn out. I went to school with a few of them. Not the same year though. Most of them are a bit older. They're the ones that seem most pissed off about how things have panned out for them.

  Vibration clears my mind. Excitement fills my chest as I look down at the little screen on my mobile. Diane's texted me. Simple, complete sentences, spelt properly. So sweet and lovely. Thank God she’s meeting me when I finish.

  I can’t help myself. I'm grinning. I’ve known her for forever. Maybe I've loved her for forever too. I definitely liked her at little school and then when we got to high school I didn’t really know her. I don’t know why. I mean, I’d see her around and that was all really. Stupid, cause I kind of knew I liked her. Then I saw her the first day at college and that was it for me.

  I still ain't got a clue what she's doing with me. She could be with anyone so I guess I’m just hoping she doesn’t work that out. I never even thought anything would happen with her. I’ve never been that lucky. It was kind of an accident really. We went out one night a couple of weeks back and on our way home she took hold of my hand and kissed me. God knows why but I'm not gonna complain when I'm getting naked privileges.

  I've worked out that time never drags with Diane. It goes twice as slow when I’m waiting to see her. And I'm always waiting to see her. Forty five minutes to go.

  Bollocks. It's that bloke from school. The one a couple of years older than me and already losing his hair. I don’t want to see him. I avoid his look at me when he walks past and stare at the girl he’s with instead. She’s cute, so how's he managed that? She’s a brave one. Showing off her arse in silly, little black knickers under white linen trousers. I smile but not at her. I smile for me. Diane’s way better than she is.

  A cheery old lady sees me grinning again as she walks up to the counter. She smiles back. I’m quite happy it’s her actually. At least she isn’t blind as a bat and staring at one thing to ask for another. When that happens, it makes me wonder what they're looking at. What do they see that I can’t? This lady’s pretty friendly though and tells me she's going to be a devil today and have some coleslaw. I laugh and smile. It’s a strange thing to say I guess. I play along, weighing out a tub and handing it to her. She thanks me and goes. Strange lady. Really fucking strange. I’m still bored.

  I’m fairly sure she’s not the devil. If coleslaw’s all it takes then there’s another level of hell reserved for me. I’m such a terrible person. No-one knows how much I lie or that I’d happily firebomb this whole place just to watch it burn. All that plastic packaging would make a good bonfire. Not that I'd want anyone to get hurt or anything. I mean, I believe in love. I believe in magic.

  Or maybe that's more lies. I steal all the time. Why don’t I stop myself? Why can’t I stop myself? Why don’t I really care? But I do care. It’s too quiet in here. Not enough distractions. In my head, I hear Paul Westerberg screaming, “Look me in the eye and tell me that I’m satisfied,” and it feels a lot like the truth. I calm down and an explosion plays in my head. Words spin round. My brain gets into a loop, repeating odd words in odd ways. Names like ‘Mr Potato Head’ or ‘Demi Lovato’ because they sound weird to me or something. It’s probably just the way my mind works.

  I look to see if Diane's here. She isn’t. I see another customer and try to look as happy as possible. Not long till I’m out of here anyway. My finger glances off the shiny metal surface of the scales. A dull thud of pain and the cut I thought had healed is opened up. Occupational hazard I guess. Still bloody hurts though.

  I finish serving and the bleeding soon stops. Feeling's gone too, Reality's boring. I walk round the corner again, to hide and watch. Still nothing worth seeing. Without thinking, I pick up the cup of coffee. The way it warms my hands makes me look at it again and then along the aisle in front of the counter.

  Music plays like rain falling as delicate shards of metal; echoing in a cave and joined by whispered words. Welcoming and worrying at the same time. The light in the shop dims to night. Not pitch black. Moonlight shines from dozens of ceiling sockets. Spotlights for me and the products on the shelves that I can see moving, almost dancing. Slowly and in time with the music. I look closer to try to believe what I see. I walk along each aisle. Tins
, cartons, jelly, spaghetti, mustard and everything else jump down and hop towards where I am. Following me across the floor.

  “MUST HAVE BEEN A DREAM.”

  The words are bellowed out on top of an explosion of sound in my head, and all the products come hurtling towards me at speed. Jumping into my clothes and my pockets. They're all so happy to do it and that makes me happy too. Weighed down, I wander back behind the counter.

  “Joe?” a voice says somewhere behind me.

  I turn and see the clock before I see Nicola’s face. She’s right on time for me to leave so I ask how she is, thank her and get out as quick as I can. She’s nice and I think she understands it’s nothing personal.

  Walking between two rows of chilled goods, I enjoy the cold. The front door opens to me automatically and I walk straight out into what's left of the heat. Diane stands waiting in the sunlight. My heart jumps a little when I see her emerald green eyes. I hold out my hand, she takes it in hers and I don't feel the weight of anything anymore.

  Learn About The Author

  A writer of multiple genres, James Eddy began writing film and television scripts before moving into Short Stories, Novels and Novellas. ‘The Devil eats Coleslaw’ is the fifth part of his short story collection, ‘Diamonds’. For more information, please visit www.jameseddy.co.uk or feel free to contact him via Twitter or Facebook

  ABOUT YOUNGBLOOD BOOKS

  Founded in 2012, Youngblood Books is owned and operated by James Eddy. We publish a diverse range of genres, including Comedy, Drama, Children's Stories, Romance, Fantasy, Literary Fiction and Comics. Visit us at www.youngbloodbooks.co.uk to keep up to date with all our new releases.

  Please feel free to leave a review wherever you may have purchased this book from. Many thanks.

  Bewilder

  Heart over Head over Heels

  Bonfire Blues

  Lily Green

  Fading Polaroids in Reverse

  The Graveyard

  Hello, Emptiness

  Revelations

  The Ghosts Are Out Tonight

  In Dreams

  Diamonds